That Jamie didn’t get all excited about her suggestions did not surprise Julia all that much.  She couldn’t remember him ever getting excited about any girl other than his own mother, and that wasn’t quite the same.  Perhaps Jamie needed to start writing about his mum.  He could make a hit Mother’s Day album.  Julia didn’t say as much out loud, however.  She only smirked at the idea as she began to play again.  

“And about yourself?” Jamie asked after a time. “I reckon we could both use some heartbreak. You can preach effort to me all day but you'll stay a hypocrite until I hear what you've done to land a lad for yourself,” he teased.

Julia stuck out her tongue at him, briefly, and soured the next couple of notes in the melody before getting back on track.  “Girls aren’t supposed to chase boys.  That’s the boys’ job, isn’t it?”  She said this with the conviction of somebody who had been told it was so, but rather wished it wasn’t.  Julia had spent good bit of time with her sister during the summer, and had managed to have a fair few minimally awkward conversations with Gail about boys.  Gail had never seemed to struggle with getting boys to like her, though she assured Julia that she HAD in fact had plenty of boy troubles.  When Julia had come out and asked how to get her own boyfriend, Gail had been absolute in her answer: You don’t.  This was not the answer Julia had wanted to her, even with Gail’s explanation.  You wait for a decent boyfriend to get you, Gail had said.  Girls who chase boys only get lazy boys, and those aren’t worth your time.  That was all easy enough for Gail to say – she seemed up to her ears in boys who fancied her, even when she already had a boyfriend.  

“I was talking to my sister about this during the summer,” Julia admitted.  “About dating.  She got this new boyfriend, and I sort of think he’s secretly a creep, but she really likes him.  Anyway, she says that I should just be my own beautiful self and the boys will eventually realize what a prize I am and come flocking to my feet.  I don’t think she knows what she’s talking about.  I think boys just naturally love her, so she thinks it’s like that for everybody.”  At some point, as she spoke, Julia had stopped playing.  One of her hands was laying pointlessly on the keys, and the other was picking at the bent corner of the music in front of her.  “Is there something weird about me, Jamie?” she asked.  Her throat felt tense and she frowned.  “How come I’m always invisible?”



Life unfolds in proportion to your courage.