Billy merely glared at Ben for a full 10 seconds, as the strains of Mrs. Robinson filled his head. God damn, how was he supposed to get out of this? He was a good actor, hence he could utilise his mad skills to worm his way out.

"Well, bastard. It all started with a dream..."

Wait. No. NO! That wasn't acting! That was stating the truth, the bloody truth and he didn't want everybody knowing about his dreams! Billy groaned, and tried to start again.

"Yes, a very vivid dream."

Right. So this wasn't working, it was going to have to be the truth, whether he liked it or not. Somebody must have drugged him with Veritaserum. Curse them! The Ravenclaw nervously adjusted his tie and continued his glaring at Ben.

"Well, in it... I was a Professor at Hogwarts. I know, how awful, I think I was teaching Muggle Studies or something like that. Anyway, I was having a routine meeting with McGonagall - as you do when you're a teacher - and then..." Billy looked very pained at the thought of it, "... then things got emotional. I think I considered her a mother figure... and she considered me a son, and I completely disregarded me own, real mum which I would NEVER do."

Twisting his hands on his lap, Billy took a huge breath. "So, yeah... then... I don't know, things got weird and there was something about handcuffs and a suggestion of a threesome with Snape - and - and...she said she knew Snape had an extra set of cuffs in the drawers. But in the dream, I was in my thirties, so y'know, consenting adults. Maybe I called her 'one hot mama' or maybe I didn't... I can't remember." Billy was bright red at this point, he'd said much more than he'd ever wanted.

"I woke up and I couldn't breath for fear, but in the dream she was -" Billy cringed, " - really, really hot. Not that she isn't hot for an older woman now... but y'know, I wouldn't consider... she's a great Professor. I respect her for that... and her older woman hotness, not to mention being an Animagus - that's cool too. Er - so there's nothing between us..." Billy was never going to live this one down. Ever.

"...yet... or ever...ugh, whatever"

Nope, never going to live this down.

"Uh, next question... please?!" he sounded almost frantic at this point.