Match Six: Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw
Date: 26 May, 1979
Weather: Calm and sunny
Match Commentator: Noah van Hagens
Referee: Madam Hooch

Rosters:
Gryffindor:
Captain: NPC
S: Cass McArthur
C: Alex Kollmann
C: Anyca McTiernan
C: NPC
B: NPC
B: NPC
K: Barty Crouch

Ravenclaw:
Captain: Xiaojun Lin
S: Sapphira Higginbotham
C: Caelin Cartney
C: Jordon Kollmann
C: Megan Lodge
B: Bobby Willoughby
B: NPC
K: Xiaojun Lin (c)

Match Summary (1 of 3)

"And they are off, despite the fact Slytherin have already won the cup and all, the bastards that they are. Really makes this game a tad pointless if you ask me but then again it does involve Gryffindors and they do have their pride. Speaking of Gryffindors it is McTiernan with the Quaffle and she is positively pelting towards the hoops. Not that there is really much chance of a Gryffindor win, not considering all the upheaval that team has had. Personally I think it's a shame, it should have been Slytherin staging a coup, but then they are self-preserving enough not to mid season. And what did I tell you, Gryffindor miss, Quaffle going wide possibly thanks to a rather fierce Bludger from Willoughby of the 'duck or I'll take your head off' variety. Personally I wouldn't want to play against that girl, fucking scary if you ask me, but apparently effective nonetheless. And damn, that was an even more effective move there with a double parrying of the Bludgers between Ravenclaw's beaters forcing A. Kollmann to drop the Quaffle mere moments after he got his hands on it. So it is Lodge with the Quaffle, and what appears to be a rather inappropriately worn Quidditch robe, though perhaps this is a new tactic by the Eagles in an attempt to ensure A. Kollmann wont be getting his hands on that Quaffle at all.

"Lodge still has the Quaffle, and she passes to Cartney, who passes back just moments before a Bludger is sent her way by one of the Gryffindor beaters whose name I forget. McDonald? McDougal? The brunette one anyway. So Lodge with the Quaffle, passes to J. Kollmann, passes to Cartney, passes back to Lodge and fuck they are fast, Lin must have been working them even harder than Skvortsov worked his team. Back to Lodge, and damn, it's saved by Crouch, who looks typically sullen. Not entirely sure why that boy is on the pitch, I mean has he ever talked to you? No? Thought not. Must be there because he is apparently a decent enough keeper, that wasn't an easy save, and Crouch passes out to McTiernan, who passes to A. Kollmann who is shouting what can only be taunts at J. Kollmann, which if you ask me is rather idiotic considering it is J. Kollmann who is on the only team actually playing Quidditch rather than simply flying around.

"Of course everyone knows a good captain is really what matters, and it's fair to say Gryffindor is lacking one of those. Current odds on the boys' bathroom wall have McTiernan at two to one to take over next year, though personally I favour McArthur's six to one chance. After all, I'm sure she could offer incentives half the school apparently find hard to refuse in order to get players. And speaking of McArthur that surely can't be a snitch chase already. McArthur is zooming towards the ground, followed by Higginbotham who is hot on her tail. Of course neither seeker has yet caught a snitch this season so failure is simply not an option this time around. Not that they can both win, but you know what I mean, and yes, it is the snitch, aaaaaaand, fuck, no, it's not, fantastically aimed Bludger from the male Ravenclaw beater with the surname I can't say scatters both seekers and means the game is back on, something Cartney clocked long before I did. Unexpected choice for the team is Cartney, but that is an impressive display of speed she is putting on and Gryffindor have no way of stopping her with the Bludgers firmly in Willoughby's control.

"And it's ten points to Ravenclaw! Crouch must have been sleeping; it went right past his ear that one. And Cartney attempts to high five Lodge and is most definitely rebuffed by the fifth year, got to love when people read situations so damn wrong, but Crouch is not sleeping now and the Quaffle is back in McTiernan's possession and damn does she look determined. Of course Gryffindor clearly missed a trick here, what with not having any future Playwizard models on their team, as A. Kollmann certainly has had his eyes on Lodge almost as much as he has had them on the Quaffle. Which would be fine and all if they were comfortably winning but with that slick pass from Lodge to J. Kollmann and another shot past Crouch Gryffindor fall twenty points behind. Of course if we really wanted to separate the men from the boys we could just go all out and have naked Quidditch, which of course Fishy Haddock would lose being hung like a chicken egg and owwww! Okay back on topic, sorry, no more talk of Haddock's tiny co-"

At this moment the only sound was of something very hard, and possibly head shaped, hitting off the microphone and of McGonagall shouting loud enough to be heard even without a magnified voice. Apparently commentary was supposed to be unbiased, relevant and most definitely not obscene. The snickering which broke out around the stands clearly suggested they had picked the wrong replacement, but it was too late to change now as in the lull in commentary a scuffle between the Kollmanns had broken out…

"Okay, back on topic, sticking to the completely relevant news that A. Kollmann just elbowed J. Kollmann in the nose. Evidently he needs to take lessons from Moran on how to foul and rile players, though going for his own brother's… Nose, going for his nose, was perhaps harsh. Hooch apparently agrees and she has awarded a penalty to J. Kollmann, though he is letting Lodge take it whilst he tries to stop bleeding from an orifice that shouldn't bleed. Not that most orifices should bleed, and definitely not any J. Kollmann has, but apparently his nose is in a conspiracy with A. Kollmann, and wait, no, panic over, Madam Hooch to the rescue. So penalty to Ravenclaw and Lodge to take, Lin is shouting barely audible advice down the pitch at her youngest chaser but she needn't bother, Lodge puts it through the right hoop comfortably whilst Crouch stares at her chest and veers towards the left hoop instead. Definitely an underhanded tactic this, anyone want a bet Haddock relaxes the no girls rule next year after this display?

"And Crouch passes the Quaffle to A. Kollmann, but Willoughby is there with a Bludger and it is back to Cartney, who passes to Lodge, who does a funny loop the loop and drops the Quaffle in an attempt to avoid McSomething's Bludger which is sent straight back at McSomething by Name-I-Can't-Say whilst A. Kollmann gets his hands back on the Quaffle and his brain back on the game. It is A. Kollmann, still A. Kollmann, McTiernan is down the outside, Gryffindor's other chaser is below him and A. Kollmann goes for the drop pass just before Name-I-Can't-Say sends a Bludger in his direction. The Quaffle is passed back to McTiernan, who passes back to A. Kollmann whilst Lin looks worried and Willoughby looks violent and Ravenclaw chasers zoom around trying to get A. Kollmann's hormones to kick back in again. Alas they do not, and it looks like Lin missed that save by little more than a inch meaning that forty minutes into the game the score stands at thirty to Ravenclaw and ten to Gryffindor…"

Ravenclaw 30-10 Gryffindor

*written by Em