Match Summary (Part 3 of 3)

"…I think we can safely say it is, and the two seekers are pelting across the pitch, getting in the way of near static chasers and trying to avoid Bludgers no one is quite sure where to send. Who is in the lead is anyone's guess, though if it comes down to another tussle, which considering this is McArthur it might, my money is on her if only because it would be downright pathetic to lose three wrestles in a row. But what is this, apparently Lodge is the only person not watching the seekers and damn she is heading towards the hoops almost completely unheeded, no doubt thanks to Willoughby sending a succession of wide Bludgers towards the seekers, clearly scared to kill Higginbotham before she manages to injure McArthur. So it's Lodge with the Quaffle and the Snitch with a desire to play hard to get, and my money is on Lodge getting to those hoops before anyone gets to that Snitch, though A. Kollmann looks damn tempted to snatch it up as it flashes past his face. Of course he isn't stupid enough to, what with that being all sort of bad news and fouls and forfeits which translates roughly into being whatever punishment the Ravenclaw team can manipulate Hooch into issuing.

"I wonder though if anyone other than seekers have caught the Snitch, must be damn tempting if your opponent is sure to get it if you don't. Still, Lodge is almost directly in front of Crouch who apparently has only now woken up to the threat but it is all too late and another goal slips passed him. Perhaps I should retract my earlier comment about him being good, because that was fucking crap play there mate, I mean the seekers aren't even close yet, and well if they don't hurry it up the snitch will get away from them completely. Still, it's Name-I-Can't-Say taking aim at a Bludger and this one looks like it is going to hit close and no, it goes wide, the seekers moving too fast for his aim to be true and it is probably just as well it wasn't as that looks like it would have taking out his own seeker which would have been a tad pointless if you ask me. Of course if St. Jensen were still playing you could argue this would be no contest, but this season has proved that experience means jack shit, particularly with Aubin's fantastic catch again Black last game, who perhaps should have stayed to beating considering all he has done this year is mud wrestle and lose.

"Another Bludger there, this one from Willoughby but it again goes wide. Come on, fucking hit someone, who cares if Higginbotham has a broken nose, she can still catch with it, and oh, McSomething looks to be taking my advice and it is McSomething and the blonde Gryffindor beater both taking aim at the seekers. This looks dangerous, very dangerous, because of course these guys suck pretty much at the whole successful aim thing and if I was McArthur and Higgn-

"Oh fuck, that has got to hurt!

"It looks like McArthur is going to crash into the pitch, taken out by her own beater, and Higginbotham puts on a spurt of speed before anyone on Gryffindor can call time out and it is Higginbotham verse Hooch's whistle, my money is on the seeker cause Hooch is taking her sweet time and yes, no, yes, yes, Higginbotham has the snitch, and fuck, that did not sound healthy. Fuck knows where the Gryffindor players were there, probably hovering in shock at causing their own fucking player to crash into the ground, and if that isn't the sound of broken bones then I don't know what is, particularly considering that arm is so not at a healthy angle. And the stand is in uproar, the Gryffindors are not happy, but it's all over, the final whistle has blown, Ravenclaw wins with 220 points to Gryffindor's measly ten.

"Oh, wait, apparently it's not all over at all, and I am told to tell you to please remain seated whilst our champions are awarded the Quidditch cup. If you ask me this is a perfect time to rush the pitch, extra cookies for whoever decks Fishy before he makes it to that podium because frankly I think I'm going to puke. And Haddock is approaching Dumbledore, looking like a fucking smug bastard, which well, he is, so no surprises there. The rest of his team is behind him, though I don't think anyone except Slytherin house is paying any attention. McArthur, for those who care more about her than pompous wanker Haddock, is alive but definitely a broken arm, and it looks like McSomething and Blondie might not be on the team next year if the rather loud dressing down their captain is giving them is anything to go by. And oh fuck no Haddock just kissed the cup, quick, someone get the bleach, others need to touch that thi-"

At this point the sounds of a hand being clamped around the microphone can be heard, though even the deafening crackle is not loud enough to drown out the cacophony of noises coming from the pitch itself…

Final Score: Ravenclaw 220 - 10 Gryffindor

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Noah 'Waygay' van Hagens