"But this isn't clean cut for me either okay?"

Well it sure was a hell of a lot more clean cut for him than it was for her. She was married; she already had a child, and now had to worry about safely carrying this one as well. She sighed. "Oh… Nic…" She wanted him to be just a little more sympathetic. She wanted him to hold her and tell her it was alright. She didn't want to be told off for thinking it was all about her. She knew it wasn't all about her, but she was the one with the unbalanced hormones who needed comforting, not Nic.

"I don't know if you realize that I have to appear together all the time. In my line of work, this could hurt me and my reputation."

"Your Reputation? Your Reputation? You were screwing someone who was engaged to someone else, and you stop to worry about your Reputation now?" Dani couldn't care less about her reputation. She had already had a baby with a man who was engaged to someone else. There was a very useful poetic symmetry about the situation. Now she was having a baby of someone she wasn't engaged to, or married to for that matter. She'd been so mean to Sean about it, and now it was happening to her. Karma really was a bitch.

"Sean wasn't just my friend, he was my best friend! He was my… Best friend."

Yes that did make since, because best friend was obviously a more important position in life than husband. She barely resisted the temptation to roll her eyes at him. "I don't have to tell him its your baby." She said softly. "I don't want to hurt Sean more than we have to. He shouldn't have to lose his wife and his best friend at the same time. I can just tell him its not his and not tell him who. Then your reputation and your best friend will still be there, and I'm the one getting hurt, is that better?"

"To grow up with what? It's their reality, it's the way things are."

"It doesn't have to be their reality. How would you have liked to grow up knowing your mother was a slut? Knowing that you were the reason her marriage failed?" It wouldn't actually be the baby's fault. It was Dani's fault. This was all her fault. She should have thought, she could have put off the wedding till she was more over Nic. She could have done any one of a thousand things to change this situation, but she was sure that the life inside her wouldn't appreciate being snuffed out.

"Better to know your real father than to be lied to your entire life, wouldn't you think?"

"No, I don't!" But Nic wouldn't know that. Sean was married to her, he knew about her lack of a father. "I was, and yes sometimes I wish I knew, Maybe that's why I'm so screwed up." She sighted. "But the babies... the babies wouldn't... No. They'll both be ok. Even if we don't tell them. They don't need to know. If we don't tell anyone no one can tell them."

"I want this Dani. You can't keep it from me just because you're scared of losing something."

"I'm not scared of losing something, Nic. Its not a set of keys or a new handbag. I'm afraid of losing everything. My baby girl, my Sophia. My husband. Where I live, I don't work, Its not like if he leaves me I have something to go back on really, it's this and I'm out. If Sean leaves me and takes the baby, then I go back to my mother and you never see you baby again." It wasn't so much a threat as a what would actually happen.

"We wont be sleeping together again."

She hated the way he said it. They both knew that's the way it was. They'd both known it since before the wedding. But she hated to hear him say it. She did have feelings for Nic. Strange, I-know-I-shouldn't-cheat-on-my-husband-with-you-but-I-really-want-to, type feelings, but they were there anyway.

"But this isn't something we can cry over like it's somebody else's fault."

It was at this point Dani felt he cheeks getting wet, she rubbed away the tears, as she snapped back at him. "I'm not crying because its not my fault, I'm crying because I know its my fault. And it's so damn upsetting! We should have done something… thought of this." At least she'd thought of it. She thought she was ok. Maybe Nic had too, but she didn't imagine he did. She held Sophia and bounced the baby lightly. "You could at least hold us and tell us it will be ok." She sighed. "I'm scared, Nic." Very, very scared.

image