The stupid thing was, somehow the fact that it hurt her so much to tell him, made it hurt him less. Not that he was happy about it. Sioni was anything but happy about anything. But if he could take away some of her pain, if he could do something for her, it would be alright, he felt. Somehow it would be alright. It would get better.

It was just now that it was terrible. But it was terrible for her, and as she buried her face in his shirt, he wrapped his arms about her and looked blindly across the lawn.

"Sioni...I want to...to just...just be...friends. Again. I just...I, having a...a boyfriend...I don't like it," she said at last, her voice muffled against him.

“I tried not to pressure you, fach,” He said quietly. He sighed and held her close, running his fingers through her hair, touching her cheek. “I am your friend, Kitten. I’ll always be your friend. The two don’t cancel each other out, you know.” He kissed her on the top of her head, and paused there, his lips pressed into her hair. He wanted to tell her, again that he loved her. But for some reason that just made it worse. If he could just stay there, holding her to him, and if the time would stop, that would be perfect. He didn’t want anything else; just to hold her.

Was that so wrong?

He wished he could believe her. He wished she really just didn’t want a boyfriend. But if she didn’t now, she would. And it wouldn’t be him.

It wouldn’t ever be him. He could love her all he wanted and look after her and protect her from herself, and do anything he wanted to, and it wouldn’t make a blind bit of difference.

He’d be angry about that, if it didn’t make him so sad.

He kissed the top of her head again and said, “Alright. Alright. You just… but look.” He reached into his pocked and took out the little box he’d put in there for later, when he’d planned the day. “I wants you to do one more thing for me will you fach?” He opend the box and let it fall on the ground, and held out the little gold chain with the pendant on it. It was a stylized bird, a curious little thing, more shape than figure, but a bird more or less. “Will you take this, please, fach? It’s a bird see? A free bird. Wear it and be free, alright? And just remember that .. That I.. well.” He stepped back and held out the bird.

“Just remember, alright?”



Not Getting Any Younger