"So, what, Sioni? You want me to lie about how I feel? That's what I'm supposed to do? Not be truthful? This will make it better? I'm not about to lie!”

She should not have followed. She should not have pushed him. She should not have tried to make all of this his fault. Caitlin’s word hit Sioni like a fist, and he closed his eyes, trying to blank out by blindness what he couldn’t help hearing.

He’d tried. He’d tried his best to make it easy, because he loved her. He’d tried to walk away and let her get on with it. But she had to hurt him again. She had to be in the right, no matter what.

Turning around and struggling to keep his voice level Sioni said, “No, Caitlin. You just wanted me to lie for you. Because goodness knows, nothing should ever force you to go against your principles. I can go to hell, for all you care, as long as you don’t have to lie. Well, I didn’t lie, and you didn’t like that.”

“I'm sorry that I ever let you kiss me; that I ever kissed you back!"

“Is that a fact?” Said Sioni, his voice like ice. “And when did you decide you were sorry? Was that before or after I helped you with Beating and flying practice? After we went Badger hunting, or before?? Or was it after  your Da was put to the inconvenience of meeting my grandmother? When, Caitlin? When did I become a burden to you; something you wanted to throw away? An embarrassment? Because I’ll never regret you. I’ll never regret kissing you and telling you how I feel, no matter what. I loved every minute of being with you, even if I couldn’t say it. Even if I had to lie to you about how I felt. Well, I’m sorry you regret knowing me, Caitlin, because I treasure knowing you.”

By now his voice and his hands were trembling, and he knew he was on the edge of tears. And that’s when his face closed and his heart went cold in his chest.  He did not cry. He would not. Biting his lip, Sioni looked at Caitlin and said slowly, “Go away with your principles and your bloody truth. All they do is hurt people. I don’t want either of them.”

 


Not Getting Any Younger

Last Edited By: BJB47 Mar 1 12 9:55 AM. Edited 1 times.