Murder? His dad wasn't just dead, he'd been murdered? Lindsay's face actually went a touch white at that news. Murder was scary, and prior to the semi-recent end of the war, it had been a very real threat. So many people had been murdered in some many different ways, and even though her parents had tried to protect her from knowing too much about the situation for fear that she'd worry her little self to death, it was impossible to avoid. Murder was not in any way pleasant or good. Old murder, new murder – it didn't matter. She emitted a near silent “Oh, Nigel,” under her breath when the gravity of the word 'murder' hit her. His life was even sadder than she thought. And here she was offering to read his numbers like it would actually make a difference! She felt foolish. She wished there was something she could really do for this poor boy. She just didn't know where to begin. 

”I thought you wanted to do the thing. If you don’t want to, it’s fine with me.”

“Oh, no! I will!” she insisted. “I just thought... I mean. I didn't want to, um... I didn't want to pressure you. I wasn't sure if you really wanted to...” she explained, feeling even more foolish. All she wanted to do was cheer him up, but now she'd just upset them both, and she wasn't sure where to go from there. “Just... just come sit with me tomorrow if you want to, and don't if you don't,” she managed with a sad, half-committed shrug. She was staring down at her feet, pretending that not looking at him meant that he couldn't see how thoroughly embarrassed she looked. 

“Maybe we should go inside. It's sort of cold out here, isn't it?” she asked. When she'd first come out here she hadn't been planning on staying outside for long – she was just crossing, intending to go back in. Now she was cold and bashful and uncomfortable. No wonder Pete's friends were always teasing her – she deserved it. “Well, you don't have to, but I think I will,” she added. She just wanted to escape before she said anything even dumber.


we don't realize our faith in the prize unless its been somehow elusive
how swiftly we choose it - the sacred simplicity of you at my side