The Sioni who left the Great Hall was not the Sioni who had gone in. The past two weeks had just been too hard. He was used to Caitlin being … kittenish. He understood about her needing space. He had other interests, too, like. He liked to see other people. Duw, he was writing Esperanza, not that he meant anything in particular by it. But there was room to… negotiate, wasn’t there? Be together and be apart sometimes?
Apparently not. He stuffed him hands into the pocket of his robe, and fished out the little book he found there. Canu Ffyrddin by Amos ap Gryffydd ap Vernon. The one he wanted to show Caitlin the last Hogsmeade weekend. The weekend that had turned into a disaster.
Well, it didn’t matter now. She just didn’t want to see him at all. That much was obvious. You tried your best, and sometimes the other side just played better. Though who in Merlin’s name the other side was, Sioni certainly didn’t know. If there was another side, he could work out how to beat them, but it seemed that he was the other side himself. And he just ended up loosin’ to himself whatever he did, like. Nothing worked and nothing was going to work because Caitlin didn’t want it to work and Caitlin didn’t want him.
Only sometimes she did, that was the trouble. Sometimes she was so sweet so funny. And sharp! She was everything, all in one tight little cute, spikey, … Caitlin. She was just… herself and perfect at it. And he loved her. And it just… hurt.
He’d spent hours going through the library to find something about makin’ wands so they could do that together, and then he’d found that little book by accident, almost. And the daft thing was, he was probably the only student in Hogwarts who could read it. And he was so excited about showing it her, and then bloody Nat bloody Candlewick bloody long string of piss Warwick got in the way.
And now none of it mattered. Bloody Valentine’s Day. A disaster waiting to happen. And as always, he’d walked into it. He didn’t know how, see? Just bloody stupid, bloody useless Sioni walked into it.
Well, he’d forget about Caitlin and he’d forget about wands and he’d take the book back and….. go hit golf-balls at the Giant Squid.
And bloody drown himself.




